How to Recognize the Signs of ‘Toxic’ Friendship
Do you feel that your friend is getting ‘toxic’? Here are the signs.
Toxic Friends – Outside of our relationship with family, sometimes we are more comfortable talking about our problems with our circle of friends. Maybe some of our friends have different opinions and points of view, but despite all that, we are all still good friends.
They sometimes become a substitute for our family, or the term is the family that we choose. However, what if the friendship turns into a toxic friendship? In fact, sometimes we don’t even realize that we are in a toxic friendship. As a result, when we are too late to realize these many bad effects happen to us.
The Consequences of Toxic Friendships
Healthy friendships will reduce stress and even make us happier. It’s different if you are in toxic friendships. Instead of reducing stress, they actually increase your stress factor. They may say or do things that make you disappointed and inferior when you spend time together.
In fact, when you are not with them, you will think about the negative interactions that you are experiencing, and make you feel tense and bad. In addition, a toxic relationship will make you feel neglected instead of being cared for. When you call them to make an appointment, they just ignore you except when they need you.
So that you don’t fall into a toxic friendship, it’s a good idea to read the following signs.
They Always Put You Down
Toxic friends will never praise you, they won’t congratulate you when you get an award. Besides that, when you are in a down period they will leave you.
You will never feel happy and comfortable with them because they make you uncomfortable with yourself. When a relationship has exhausted your energy, you need to ask yourself if this is in your favor?
Toxic Friends Are Always Competing With You
Previously, one of the characteristics of your toxic friends was that they never congratulated you or complimented you on success, they were happier to compete with you. Whether it’s work, romance, whatever, they want more from you.
They don’t like it when you are successful at something. Even though you are in different fields, they still want to get what you get. What an annoying friend.
When they joke, they always cross the line
You may have encountered the phrase, “Geez, that’s so damn bitchy,” when you protest a joke thrown by your friend. Yes, toxic friends often throw jokes that make you uncomfortable rather than amused. Usually, they comment “funny” about your body, your relationship status, or the decisions you make.
If indeed they are your friends, they should be more sensitive to where things are made amused and offended instead of bringing feelings.
Feeling Jealous When You Spend Time with Other Friends
Toxic friends will feel very jealous when you spend time with other people. He wants you to only hang out with them, and only care about them.
They want all of your time and are very dependent on you. Toxic friends will always text you and get angry if you don’t reply to their messages quickly.
Toxic Friends Have Hypocritical Traits
When they make you feel bad because you don’t spend more time with them, toxic friends will never feel guilty for doing that. They are often “drama” and irrational, also like to gossip about you or badmouth yourself to others.
Always Comparing Yourself with Others
Have you ever had a friend who likes to compare yourself with other friends? And say that you are worse than them? Or have they ever said that your dorm room is smaller than their other friend’s room, and made them uncomfortable playing with you? Just leave someone like that.
Keep in mind that good friends will not compare you to other people. They won’t use peer pressure to get you to do what you really don’t want to do.
Toxic Friends Are Trying To Change You
The last characteristic of toxic friends is that they will really try to change you, even though what is in you is not negative. This is already a red light, and you better just leave someone like this.
For example, maybe you’re the type of person who doesn’t feel comfortable in crowded places. Good friends will find you a quieter place to hang out than forcing you to stick with them to crowded places.
A good friend will not force you to change, but he will wait for your approval when you want to ask for directions to become a better person.
How to Overcome Toxic Friends
The most appropriate step is not to be friends with them anymore. Give distance between you and this toxic friend. Don’t hang out together anymore, or tell stories and confide in your personal problems with them. And to be sure, you don’t need to be involved in his life.
You can find other activities and this way you have a reason not to see them again. Slowly but surely, distance yourself from toxic friends. There are still many opportunities for you to make good friends. Connect and be active with other friends who can build and have a positive impact on your life. You can also build friendships with new people who can give you a better insight into life.
But if you really find it difficult to overcome or get out of a circle of friends like this, don’t hesitate to consult a psychiatrist, psychologist, or counselor.